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Who Needs Heroes?
When we were talking the other day we started to think about our heroes when we were young. After we had discussed the usual film star and sports stars that we idolised I remembered Derek. Derek was a couple of years ahead of me in school and he had everything; he always got straight 'A's' and was formidable on the football field as well as one of the fastest over 100 metres. What's more he did not appear to work at it. When the rest of us were 'slaving' away at our homework or sweating buckets trying to impress on the football field or athletics track he just turned up and got on with it. A natural, was how one of our teachers described him. Natural or hero, Derek caused me and others a lot of pain. His skills and our hero worship caused us to begin the 'beating yourself up' process. You know the; 'I'm not good enough'. 'If only I could do that'.' I could not possibly do that'. The self defeating traits of inadequacy, insecurity and worthlessness and constant comparison with others all started here. With Derek, we started the comparison programme. Comparison is just another name for subservience. When you compare yourself to someone you are really accepting that you are impressed by them, you want them to influence your life and are willingly bowing down to their perceived skills and abilities. The problem with subservience is that you can never be free. It takes away all your happiness and power. You end up confused and wilting like a flower. The fact is comparing yourself with others not only stops you from being successful, it's destructive. As, Elizabeth Fisher an American author, stated; 'comparison is a death knell to sibling harmony'. Suggesting that the minute you compare yourself with anybody the relationship is always going to be powerless. Because you are now in a subservient relationship. The truth is that only prices, products and stores can be compared. Not people. You can compare key data any product, price or service. So when you compare yourself with others are you a product, price or service? Remember those essays from school and university where you were always asked to compare and contrast something with the aim of showing the similarities and differences of an argument etc. But how do you do this with people? What is being compared or contrasted? How are people similar? Height, weight, age, the clothes they wear, walk, where they live, the cars they drive, their salary, their achievements, their views ? Do you compare yourself with others? Who do you compare yourself with? What are the attributes you compare? Are you comparing like with like? You can compare males and females and they way they perform tasks, parents against children, different age groups. You can compare how your opinions are similar or different. But the best you can get is that you are mostly similar or mostly different. What about jealousy? How do you measure that? You can compare products with different versions. But people? How do you compare yourself with your parents or grandparents? You could be like Shakespeare and compare yourself against nature i.e. beauty with day and night. But not compare one person against another. Comparing yourself with others is like putting yourself in a prison. A prison which can only bring pain. A prison that stops you from experiencing your true talents. No one puts you in this prison, you do it all by yourself. You simply learn, as I did, not to accept yourself and reject who you really are in favour for what you perceive another person has. In other words you give yourself a hard time and delay your own growth because you thought the other person was better than you. Trust yourself, you have all the skills you need to succeed. All you need is a change of process. Stop judging yourself. Instead of comparing yourself with others, subverting your own power and constantly under performing; focus on your potential. What you want to be. Meditate on where you want to be. Imagine yourself achieving your potential. What does it look like, what does it feel like. Surround yourself with images and artefacts depicting the future you and gradually, you will become what you always wanted to be. The more you believe in your capabilities the more your behaviour will change. Access the hidden skills you have. Trust in yourself. You have far more skills and abilities than you are using at present. If you have heroes then beware you could be taking away your skills, your individualism and making yourself subservient for the rest of your life. In which case who needs heroes? About The Author Graham and Julie To see more of our work please go to: www.desktop-meditation.com
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Coaching Strengthening Leadership Development with Employees Within every business lies a network of people who are working to make their employer successful. Because growing business requires more employees, employers need to seek prospective candidates who will align well with their business. Some businesses prefer to promote employees internally; and it can be very beneficial for their company. Keep in mind of three ways a business might want to hire internally. These reasons not only help with the growth of the business but enhance leadership development with their employees. Real Charisma, Clinton Style What exactly is Charisma? Most would agree that it is a magical, illusive, personal quality, divinely endowed on some people more than others. One thing is for certain, it is more easily identified than defined. It is the secret to being liked and agreed with by others. It is the much sought-after quality that causes people to envy others because of their congeniality and ease at which they interact with people. Charisma, like many other character traits, may be gifted more to some, but regardless of your given level, charisma, like any other skill, can be further developed. The Death of Potential While reading my latest book on politics and economics, I came across a reference to a bible story called "Parable of the Talents'. In this story three servants are each give 'talents' (a monetary denomination used by the Greeks). To the first, the master gave 5 talents, to the second he gave 2 and to the third he gave 1 talent. The master gave each a different amount of money (talents), according to their ability. Two of the servants doubled their money and the master was pleased with their results. The third servant, fearful of losing it, buried his money where no one benefited from it, including himself. When the master summoned the third servant to get an accounting of what he had done with his talent, he was angry and displeased to find out the servant had simply buried it and where the money had no opportunity to earn interest. The servant tried to explain to the master that he knew how 'exacting' the master was and he did not want to lose His money. The master did not buy it. He ordered that the one talent be given to the first servant who was able to convert 5 talents into 10. (Reference Matt 25:14 and Luke 19:12). Although I believe the story or parable was strictly about economics and frugality, it can be extended to include, not only money, but true talents (i.e., ability). The cornerstone of my book, The Logic of Success, is the premise that unless you find out what it is you were meant to do, true happiness will elude you. Finding out what it is you truly want takes time, patience and perseverance. In the first chapter I discuss how to create 'search patterns' to find your true calling. (Get a Free copy at www.thelogicofsucccess.com). Now, I want go beyond the obvious of telling you about your hidden talents (you already know you have one, two or more). I want to address the 'How' talents were (and are) buried within us. As children, we all loved to discover new things. We even did things when others advised us not to (e.g., touching the stove when Mom said it was hot). We wanted to learn, we wanted to discover for ourselves the world around us. Failure and pain were not yet transformed into anxieties. As we got older, we were expected to act a little more responsible and accountable for our actions. Like in any soap opera drama, this is the scene in your life where 'society' steps in and starts benevolently imposing its norms on your behavior. You are now expected to: Take the Road Less Traveled "Two roads diverged in a wood, and I, I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference." - Robert Frost 8 Questions to Ask if You Want to be a Better Leader Those that have successfully made the transition from manager to leader have found the importance of continuously asking questions. Constantly receiving feedback from front line workers enables aleader to understand what is going right and where improvement is needed. At the same time, the leader is showing interest in the front line workers through these questions. However asking questions can become harmful if two key steps do not follow them. Evil, Hostile Grumpy Listeners? Think Again I hated Kyle Sisk*. A notorious bully, Kyle punctuated my grade school years with misery. He would tease me about my weight, purposely rattle me with shocking language, delight in making me look foolish at every opportunity. Kyle had scary, penetrating eyes and sharp, jagged teeth that looked, appropriately, like fangs. He even had his own evil henchman named Eddie who would follow him everywhere, laughing a conspiratorial little laugh asking, "Heh, heh, what are we going to do next, Kyle? Heh, heh." (All Eddie was missing was a hump.) A typical encounter was the time I was walking home from school and Kyle and Eddie pounced from behind some bushes, grabbed my books and threw them in the mud. Even worse, they snatched my precious, brand new little purse and threw it into the branches of a tree, far out of reach. They then ran off cackling in triumph. I, purseless, limped home in tears. Ten Steps To Effective Leadership Many people end up in a supervisory position or SOHO ownership almost by default. In today's workplace, if someone stays on their job long enough, they will probably be promoted as others, more senior to them or higher up the chain of responsibility, leave for other opportunities. Rationalize Success Away I was invited to do a Leadership workshop at a well known Fortune 100 company out in New Jersey. The all day event was geared toward their new crop of interns. At a point in my presentation I talked about the many reasons we come up with for not taking action. The many excuses we create in order to delay or defer acting on our plans to achieve success. In Leadership, The Eight Ways Of Right Action (Part 1) The ancient Greeks had a saying: "When Aschines speaks, the people say, 'How well he speaks,' but when Demosthenes speaks, the people say, 'Let's march against Philip!'". Why You Should Ignore This Advice Doesn't make too much sense does it? Am I really going to give you some advice that asks you to ignore the advice I'm giving you? Well, that's not strictly true. I am however going to show you how to qualify the advice you are given, so you can sort the wheat from the chaff, and help you to survive the information overload on the Internet. Leadership For Deep Results: Without Them Are You Wasting Your Leadership And Your Life? (Part Two) How does one go about getting deep results? There are many paths up this mountain. But one path is straight and steep and clear. That is the path of the Leadership Imperative. What We Can Learn From J. Paul Getty J. Paul Getty planned to enter the U.S. Diplomatic Service, but, when he got out of college, the Oklahoma oil boom caught his attention. Since his father had already prospered in the oil business, he was irresistibly attracted to the prospects of wildcatting, and he decided to postpone his diplomatic ambitions for two more years. What Kind of Leader Are You? You are a leader if someone is following you. This could be as simple as one person watching you and following your example and encouragement, to being a leader in your home, your community, your workplace or even your nation. Leadership can take many forms, but typically it often involves managing people- one of the most difficult of all tasks. It means coordinating and motivating the actions of others to achieve a common goal. A leader has to establish that goal, and gain the willing agreement of others to be governed by and work together towards that goal. Five Surprisingly Hip Politicial Ideas From Plato Don't you love politics? Two Leadership Traps: How To Get Out Of Them and How To Avoid Them (Part 1) You've heard of the Peter Principle: "People are promoted to their level of ultimate incompetence". But what the Peter Principle doesn't tell you is the nature of the incompetence. For the most part, it's leadership incompetence. Effective Leaders are (#3) Communicative LISTEN, WRITE, AND ARTICULATE EFFECTIVELY: Leadership positions require effective communication skills. Basic confidence in the art of information sharing is absolutely necessary for effective leadership. Although mastering all of these skills is ideal, it is not always necessary. Creative leaders can develop teams to support them in areas of weakness. One of the strengths of a leader is the capacity to recognize those communication areas in which he or she is weakest and then to supplement them. If for example, the area is listening, a leader might request a written summary for follow-up. If the area is writing, they could delegate the writing up of their ideas. No effective leader, however, can delegate the ability to articulate. Verbal communication must be an effective part of a leader's repertoire. 5 Power Keys For Leadership Success! Did you know that you can successfully handle most leadership challenges with just 5 simple strategies? By focusing your attention on these critical areas you can empower your the opportunities hiding within your vision, new venture or project plans. People Problems -- Understanding the Dueling Paradigms You've spent the last 12 years riding your technical skills up the corporate ladder. Quality Leadership The Lakota tribe of Native Americans has no word in the language for "I" or "me," only "we" or "us." Mahatma Gandhi insisted on traveling in third class carriages (on the train)because, as he explained, 'there is no fourth class.' " Two Vital Abilities Any Leader Must Have As a business owner, you are a leader whether you like it or not. Whether you like it or not you have to guide your group in order to expand your organization. And whether you like it or not, there are some difficult situations that you have to confront and handle -- hopefully in a way that inspires confidence in you from your staff.
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