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Leadership Skills: Four Ways of Overcoming Perfectionism
We pay a high price for perfectionism. "What perfectionism?" we perfectionists mutter. "We've known for years perfectionism is not healthy so we have dealt with this issue and strive for personal excellence only!" Really? When you slip-up - maybe handle a situation, task or project less than perfectly what do you say to yourself? Are you able to commend yourself on what you did well and perhaps then, note a thing or two you could improve upon? Or do you focus on the mistake or less-than-perfect behavior neglecting your positive efforts? Recently I completed facilitating six evening "Leadership" sessions. Being only my second time facilitating this particular series I closely observed my "perfectionistic" tendency. As I completed each session I could readily see areas I could have improved upon. Commend Yourself! Gently Observe Improvements! For me, it took a huge effort to commend myself on what I had done well and to be gentle with myself on the areas of improvement. In fact, I made a pointed effort of congratulating myself after each session and allowed myself the joy and relief of savoring a job well done when the series of six was completed. This is not a simple, natural process for us perfectionists. To further this exercise in self-acknowledgement I did not read my participant's evaluations at the program end as usual. This was perhaps a first in my fourteen years of facilitating. Too often, I have rushed to read the evaluations to determine my success. Eventually I will receive a summary of the evaluations from the College I was contracted to but more importantly, I have deepened my self esteem and self worth through rewarding, congratulating and commending myself despite what others may think. To be a strong leader and healthy human being let us begin now acknowledging our achievements rather than devaluing our worth and work. Herein, we begin to wean ourselves from being reliant on outside influences to determine our worth or how well we have done. We begin to befriend ourselves and give the internal "Judge" less power over us. Not only are we robbed of the enjoyment of our efforts by focusing on what went wrong and neglecting to commend ourselves but also, by rushing into worry over the next thing we have to do. When caught in this repetitive ritual of "not good enough? do better? do more?" I have found this simple phrase very freeing? Not Perfect but Well Enough! Feel the relief and comfort of this phrase, "not perfect but well enough!" Yes! Thank You God! "Thank You God" is another simple phrase that can help relieve us of the burden of perfectionism. Not only have I been working on giving myself credit but also on thanking God for His/Her part in my success. I know I must constantly turn to my God, my Source, my Higher Power call it what you will for guidance in all I do. In the perfectionist's mind it is all up to ME to do everything so very, very well but of course - never quite measuring up. The more I trust that God is working in me and through me the more I can lay down the heavy burden of perfectionism. It is not all up to ME. My job is to "do my best and give God the rest." Do My Best and Give God the Rest Even in the midst of our fear, doubt and inadequacy we can comfort and encourage ourselves by knowing it is not all up to us. We can trust God is also at work and all is unfolding according to a Grand Design far greater than our understanding. As an Alcoholics Anonymous slogan so simply says "Let go and let God." We can become better leaders and human beings and release ourselves from the bondage of perfectionism by practicing these few ideas. 1. Commend yourself on a job well done. What a relief to give up responsibility for doing everything AND doing it perfectly! Teresa Proudlove has been inspiring, supporting, and guiding over 3000 people upon their career and life work path for over fourteen years - with compassion and heart. Teresa's workshops offer a deeper understanding and respect for ourselves, for others, and for our lifework path. This entrepreneurial woman also owned and successfully operated two women's retail boutiques for ten years. For over twelve years, Teresa was a well-read newspaper columnist. Visit Teresa at http://www.yourlifework.com; listen to your inner guidance and navigate through life and work with more meaning, acceptance and peace.
Leadership - Google News |
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Coaching Common Mistakes Extraordinary Leaders Dont Make When people make a decision (either consciously or unconsciously) to follow your leadership, they do it primarily because of one of two things: Your Character or your Skills. They want to know if you are the kind of person they want to follow and if you have the skills to take them further. Yes, there are other variables but these are the bulk of the matter. This week we focus on the kind of skills that cause people to follow your leadership, specifically things that an Extraordinary Leader doesn't do! Four Obstacles to Exceptional Leadership--Part 1 "Most of our obstacles would melt away if, instead of cowering before them, we should make up our minds to walk boldly through them." -- Orison Swett Marden Three Growth Guidelines from Stephen Covey I have been looking for answers to what it takes to create a winning corporate culture in the midst of today's confusing economic indicators. If I rely solely on history or economic indicators, I won't find the answers. Company profits are up, yet job growth is sputtering. Communication happens at breakneck speed, yet we often feel less connected to our peers than we ever did. Benefits of Leadership Skill Training DESCRIPTION CMOE's Leadership Skill Training addresses a wide range of leadership development topics, based on the needs of the audience and scope of delivery. Leadership Skill Training for new leaders might be targeted to help them make the transition from individual contributor to effective leader. For more experienced or advanced audiences, Leadership Skills can address the situational decisions leaders face to either involve their team members in decisions, or to rely more on their own experience, expertise, and responsibility. Managing Monsters in Meetings - Part 7, Personal Attacks Personal attacks hurt people, mar communication, and end creativity. If they become part of a meeting's culture, they drive the participants into making safe and perhaps useless contributions. Precious Moments There is too much learning out there that we earn drop by drop as we go through experiences in life. There is one of the experiences that I earned from a workshop on Leadership Skills and Management. Rationalize Success Away I was invited to do a Leadership workshop at a well known Fortune 100 company out in New Jersey. The all day event was geared toward their new crop of interns. At a point in my presentation I talked about the many reasons we come up with for not taking action. The many excuses we create in order to delay or defer acting on our plans to achieve success. 7 Core Elements Of Your Vivid Vision! What you are about to read may be found in the Bible but it also applies to your professional life. Effective Listening Equals Effective Leadership: Learn How! No matter what role you play in your company, becoming a more effective listener will help you get ahead in your position. It means fewer errors, improved accuracy, and enhanced working relationships. And, listening to your customers and referral sources will definitely help you in your marketing efforts. You will solicit better information from other people whether interviewing job candidates, solving work problems, or working to make a sale. What is Leadership? Leadership is what every organization needs and so few have in adequate supply. Part of leadership is what the first President Bush called "the vision thing". It's the ability to see what does not exist and then gather, mold and shape the resources needed to make it happen. Pure Discipline General George S. Patton was born on November 11, 1885 on his fathers ranch and vineyard in Los Angeles County over what is today the city of Pasadena and much of the UCLA campus. Early in life he was small and weak, but raw determination and drive built up body day-by-day, piece-by-piece. Follow My Leader - To Effect Change, Leaders Must Walk the Talk! A leader's role Secrets of Creating Success with Ease Do you ever strum your fingers on the desk top as you look down at your work and think, 'Right, how can I do all this lot without really working?' Lead People...Manage Things Master The Five Key Facets of High Performance Leadership Are You a Leader or a Manager? President Ike Eisenhower once demonstrated the difference between leadership and management to his cabinet by putting a piece of string in a straight line on the conference table. He then asked one of the attendees to put his finger on one end of the string and push it. The string, of course, bunched up in an ugly bundle. He then asked the man to pull the string with his finger on one end. The string straightened up in a nice neat line and followed the finger across the table. "This", said Ike "is the difference between managing and leading." Leadership Challenges: The Walls In Our Lives We have all experienced walls or challenges in our work lives. How you handle the walls may be a defining point in your leadership and your career. There are a variety of ways to attach these walls some more effective than others. The Three Essential Attributes of a Leader: The Demonstrated Abilities Leaders need to: Managing Monsters in Meetings - Part 4, Quiet Participants There are many reasons why someone would decline to participate during a meeting. For example, the person may feel reluctant to speak out, may disagree with the approach endorsed by others in the meeting, or may just be tired. Seven Personal Characteristics Of A Good Leader How often have you heard the comment, "He or she is a born leader?" There are certain characteristics found in some people that seem to naturally put them in a position where they're looked up to as a leader. Asking for Help For many of us, asking for help is a difficult concept. It can require a certain amount of vulnerability. We may feel as if we are admitting a weakness that the world would not have known about, had we not asked for help.
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