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Choose To Become An Encourager
"...I know that the only source of happiness is within me, and I will begin to share it. Like a perfume, I know that I cannot pour it on others without getting a few drops on myself." - Og Mandino, "The Choice" "You cannot antagonize and influence at the same time." - John Knox The childhood chant "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me" is a lie. Do you remember every time you fell from your bike as a child? How about every time you have hit your knee or elbow working around your house? Most people forget these incidents as soon as the physical pain subsides. Do you remember some nickname that you hated as a child? Did your parents or teachers ever tell you something that made you feel inferior or weak? Do you remember any negative comments you have received on job performance reviews? If you are like most people, you remember these negative words long after the moment has passed. Now consider the positive words you have received. Maybe, like me, they came from your family as a child. Maybe they came from a favorite teacher, coach, or mentor. Think for a moment about the impact these words have had on your life. Positive or negative, words leave a mark. The mark is not on the surface where you can see it, but there is a mark. Here's a story to illustrate my point. As a child, my parents and I lived in North Carolina. Both sets of my grandparents lived in Texas. We visited Texas about twice a year. During these visits, we often split our time between the two families. I loved both dearly, but I always wanted to spend more time with one than with the other. Both sets loved me. Both treated me well. Both would do nearly anything for me. But there was one big difference. One grandmother called me "precious, angel, baby child" and "my wonderful, precious angel". The other called me Guy. Which do you think was my favorite? You can probably guess where I wanted to spend my time. I loved both of my grandmothers, but one became a greater influence on my life. Why? She constantly spoke words of encouragement to me and everyone else she met for that matter. In fact, she still does to this day. She always tells me how wonderful I am, how much she loves me, and how proud she is of me. As an adult, I still look forward to speaking with her. When my grandfather passed away, I spoke at his funeral. I did the best I could to pay tribute to one of the greatest men I have ever personally known. About six months later, my grandmother called again to tell me how wonderful my comments were and how smart and wise I am. I don't really believe that I am the smartest person on the planet, but it sure feels good to have someone tell you that. After we spoke, I felt like a million bucks and believed that I could accomplish anything. Would you like to have that influence on people? Would you like to inspire the people around you to work harder and accomplish more? You do hold that power. You have it when you use positive words words of encouragement and praise. As Johann Wolfgang von Goethe said, "Treat a man as he appears to be and you make him worse. But treat a man as if he already were what he potentially could be, and you make him what he should be." Next to example, words are probably the most powerful tools leaders use. Words communicate your hopes, your dreams, your vision, your message, and your heart. Words show other people how you see them. As a leader, your words make a difference. Your words will either build-up or tear down, encourage or discourage, inspire or deflate. The choice is up to you. I encourage you to remember this simple tip and spread some perfume of happiness around as you . . . Choose to become an encourager. Copyright 2005, Guy Harris You may use this article for electronic distribution if you will include all contact information with live links back to the author. Notification of use is not required, but I would appreciate it. Please contact the author prior to use in printed media. Guy Harris is the Chief Relationship Officer with Principle Driven Consulting. He helps entrepreneurs, business managers, and other organizational leaders build trust, reduce conflict, and improve team performance. Learn more at http://www.principledriven.com Guy co-authored "The Behavior Bucks System TM" to help parents reduce stress and conflict. Learn more about this book at http://www.behaviorbucks.com
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Coaching It's Not All About Cheese: The Missing Component in Employee Development (Part 1) Spencer Johnson really hit a nerve when he wrote Who Moved My Cheese? The book, a best seller still, is a wonderful allegory of the things that drive and motivate us. I personally loved the book, perhaps because I read it in one night. But, I was left wondering if the most important part of the cheese story was ever addressed profoundly enough. I am talking about the idea that it is not all about the cheese! The Greatest Leaders Are Often The Worst Leaders It's a common occurrence, a CEO leads a company to record earnings, retires and in months, those once high-flying earnings are dropping like shot ducks. The Leadership Talk As A Living Hologram The hologram is a three-dimensional photograph made on a flat surface with laser beams. Leadership Webster's defines leadership as : "1. the office of position of a leader, 2. capacity to lead, 3. the act of instance of leading, 4. LEADERS." Dale Carnegie, founder of the Dale Carnegie Institute and teacher of leadership skills, defines leadership as a mixture of traits and skills that can be learned and honed. John C. Maxwell, founder of INJOY and professional speaker on leadership, agrees with Carnegie, but further states that there are five levels of leadership with the highest level being attained by only a few people. Leadership For Deep Results: Without Them Are You Wasting Your Leadership And Your Life? (Part One) I've challenged all leaders I have worked with during the past two decades to achieve "more results faster continually." In Leadership, The Eight Ways Of Right Action (Part 1) The ancient Greeks had a saying: "When Aschines speaks, the people say, 'How well he speaks,' but when Demosthenes speaks, the people say, 'Let's march against Philip!'". Why the Squirrel Kept Winning! I had the good fortune (or misfortune depending on your climate perspective) of living in Minnesota for ten years. The Summers were beautiful, Fall was spectacular with the changing colors of the leaves on trees and winter was,?well, damn cold. Are You a Good Manager or a Great Leader? Your word is your truth - Know that when you speak, you will fulfill your promise to others and others will know they can depend on you. Think before you speak. Under promise and over deliver. Always keep your promise. What Makes A Good Leader? Ask Uncle Sam What do the major generals who are leading the war efforts in Iraq have in common with executives and entrepreneurs who are conducting business back home? When it comes to leadership, the answer is probably a lot more than you think. Stand Out as a Leader, Do 5 Things Better! Number One: Improve the Quality of Your Decision Making! The manager administers, the leader improves; the manager maintains, the leader develops; the manager relies on systems, the leader relies on people; the manager counts on controls, the leader counts on trust; the manager does things right, the leader does the right thing. -Fortune Magazine To Be An Effective Leader, Do A Check-up From The Neck Up Before we can effectively lead anyone, we must take an introspective view of ourselves. We must do a check-up from the neck up. We must be certain that the thoughts and attitudes we hold are in alignment with the role we perform. Managing Monsters in Meetings - Part 5, Dominant Participants While dominant participants contribute significantly to the success of a meeting, they can also overwhelm, intimidate, and exclude others. Thus, you want to control their energy without losing their support. The Four Laws Of Leadership (Part One) Leadership is motivational or it's stumbling in the dark. After all, isn't it more effective to have people want to go from point A to point B instead of to be ordered to go from A to B? Develop a We Focus And Not a Me Focus ____________________________________________ Dont Be a Complainer Complaining. There's room for legitimate complaining, but if you let this deadly disease of attitude - complaining loose, it will conquer you. Complaining can take over your life. Destroy you and leave you without anything. The Ten Commandments of Leadership A poem hangs on the wall at Mother Theresa's orphanage in India. For all who are called to lead, it is a great reminder of what we should do: Effective Listening Equals Effective Leadership: Learn How! No matter what role you play in your company, becoming a more effective listener will help you get ahead in your position. It means fewer errors, improved accuracy, and enhanced working relationships. And, listening to your customers and referral sources will definitely help you in your marketing efforts. You will solicit better information from other people whether interviewing job candidates, solving work problems, or working to make a sale. Are You The Most Powerful Leader You Can Be? As someone who teaches, manages, parents or influences you'll probably already be aware that powerful leadership is not just about the boss, it's about the team, irrespective of whether that team is in the classroom, in the office or around your home. Building Future Leaders As a whole we spend a lot of time filling our minds with various forms of self-improvement. From Failure To Victory; The Cats Out Of The Bag! Did you ever think that all of the great heroes we read about may not have been particularly great men in and of themselves? They may not have been born with any great skills, talents or abilities. But, each of them did have one special quality that we would all do well to cultivate.
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