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Effective Listening Equals Effective Leadership: Learn How!
No matter what role you play in your company, becoming a more effective listener will help you get ahead in your position. It means fewer errors, improved accuracy, and enhanced working relationships. And, listening to your customers and referral sources will definitely help you in your marketing efforts. You will solicit better information from other people whether interviewing job candidates, solving work problems, or working to make a sale. Contrary to what many people think, being an effective listener is not a passive activity. It takes concentration, effort, and active attention. Because our brains work much faster than our ability to speak, we often jump way ahead of the speaker in our minds and miss the opportunity to fully understand a person's feelings, position, and perspective. Environmental distractions or personal biases can also interfere with our ability to understand what a person is saying. When listening, you are giving a gift of your time and attention to the other person. Work to respond both verbally and non-verbally to the person who is speaking. This lets the speaker know that you are listening and that you understand what he or she is trying to communicate. Here are some ideas to help you hone your listening skills: 1. Don't Talk. This may seem self-evident. However, many people listen with impatience. They are just waiting for their chance to speak, or worse yet they interrupt. Be courteous and give your listener your full attention. Avoid offering solutions if the speaker is expressing a problem. Just listen. 2. Listen Fully. A good listener looks interested in what the speaker is saying. Your body language speaks volumes. Maintain eye contact, sit still, lean slightly toward the speaker, and nod your head (but not too vigorously or you'll look like a chicken!). 3. Ask Clarifying Questions. Wait for the speaker to pause, and ask clarifying questions. It's a good idea to paraphrase what the speaker has said and to ask questions such as, "Did you mean?" or "If I understand correctly, you said?" 4. Provide Feedback. Remain engaged in what the speaker is saying and show this verbally. He or she will appreciate the occasional "I see..." or "Really?" or "I know!" 5. Keep Your Mind Open. The point of listening is to gain new information. Don't just search for a point that supports your own opinions. Be willing to gain new insights and learn about someone else's ideas. 6. Be on the Same Level. Make sure you are at eye level with the other person. Avoid having an employee or customer stand in front of your desk. Have comfortable chairs available so that a desk is not a barrier between you. 7. Respect Your Speaker. If the conversation involves criticism from either party or contains personal information, go to a private room for the discussion. Make sure other people can't listen to your discussion. This will help the speaker feel more at ease and demonstrate your respect for what he or she has to say. 8. Pay Attention to Cues. What isn't being said is often as important than what is being said. Body language speaks volumes. Watch the speaker's facial expressions, posture, eyes, gestures, and other nonverbal cues. 9. Avoid Invalidating Language. While you may not agree with what the speaker is saying, avoid defensive statements or phrases that argue with his or her points. Later, you can take time to review what was said and formulate a response. As an active and effective listener, your role is to allow the person the time and space to fully express his or her feelings. 10. Express Appreciation. Thank the listener for sharing his or her thoughts and feelings. It takes courage to speak up. True sharing builds trust and encourages further dialogue. It takes time and energy to become a better listener. Be patient. As you begin to improve your listening skills, you may be surprised to find people will seek you out to share their thoughts and feelings. You will also find yourself involved in fewer conflicts and be perceived as a more positive and trustworthy person. Attentive listening is a rare skill that people respect and welcome. ACTION ITEM: This week, concentrate on your listening skills. Do you finish sentences for others? Do you interrupt? Do you sneak looks at your watch? Pay attention to your listening habits and begin to bring conscious attention to improving these skills. Work to show others that you hear and understand them. Wendy Maynard, your friendly marketing maven, is the owner of Kinesis. Kinesis specializes in marketing, graphic and website design, and business writing. Visit http://www.kinesisinc.com/resources/articles.html for more articles and free marketing wisdom. Want to harness the power of kinetic marketing? Sign up for Kinesis Quickies, a free bi-monthly marketing e-newsletter: http://www.news.kinesisinc.com Visit Wendy's marketing blog, "Kinetic Ideas" at: http://www.wendy.kinesisinc.com
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Coaching F2 Leadership People don't leave jobs; they leave bosses. -- Anonymous Partnership: Choose It or Lose It Charlotte decides to do good. Charlotte is a highly motivated worker. Something has been bothering her lately, something about the structure of the work flow that's causing redundancy, misallocation of resources, costly errors, and diminished productivity. On her own she does a careful study of the situation and convinced that she is on to something, she spends her evenings writing a detailed report that includes her observations, the apparent costs to the system, evidence of mismanagement (she is a bit caustic here), her vision of how the work flow should be structured, along with the steps she feels would turn things around and assure success. In the end, this is a detailed report, meticulously done, twenty-five single-spaced pages, with charts and graphs. Charlotte is proud of her work, the fact that she did this at her own initiative and on her own time, and she is truly excited about making a positive contribution to the organization. Charlotte finishes her report and sends it to the company president. And then she waits. And she waits. Certainly there will be a phone call, a meeting, some acknowledgment of her contribution, a bonus maybe, even a promotion wouldn't be out of the question. Something. But nothing comes. A week goes by. Two weeks. Still nothing. Hope wanes, and a bitterness begins to settle in. Those executives, she thinks, they go off to these programs on partnership or leadership or empowerment; they learn all the right words, but in the end it doesn't mean anything. It's more of the same old arrogance of top management. They really don't care. And this marks the end of Charlotte as a highly motivated worker. She is angry; she has her evaluations (all negative) of the president; she is feeling very righteous -- I did the right thing and what did it get me? -- and she has lost interest in pursuing her productivity project. What's the point? she asks. That's the last time I'll go out of my way for this company, Managing Monsters in Meetings - Part 2, Multiple Conversations Side conversations ruin meetings by destroying focus and fragmenting participation. 10 Smart Ways Leaders Can Bring Out the Best in Others You are a leader. Everyone is a leader. It doesn't matter if your title is Chairman of the Board or 3rd Assistant to the Supply Room Manager, you lead every time you influence others to do what you want. It's a skill that starts at birth (doesn't a newborn baby run her house?). As a smart adult, you have refined your natural leadership skills in order to influence others to willingly do what you want. Effective Leaders are (#2) Technical SET CLEAR AND REASONABLE OBJECTIVES FOR THEMSELVES AND OTHERS: Plan? Plan? Plan? Managers need to do their homework. Effective managers know that setting objectives, outlining the steps required to achieve them, and delegating tasks appropriately to each staff person are all necessary components of bringing a project to fruition. The development of a system that maintains these objectives (like a wall calendar) is a good sign of an effective leader and time manager. Any major projects should be time-lined backwards from completion date to incipience to verify how long they will take, and to create intermediate goals to keep the staff and management motivated. The SAMMER Test: Leading People To Get The Right Results At the Right Time In The Right Way As a leader, you do nothing more important than get results. But simply getting results can be easy. The Goals of Leadership Coaching and Partnerships Webster's Dictionary describes a "partner" as an ally or an association built around common interests and goals. Leadership Success and its Greatest Barrier: the Law of Administrivia Years ago, a very wise, and often cynical boss of mine asked me for a definition of management. After reflecting on the question I proceeded to give him an intellectually careful and, I thought, accurate definition. He allowed me to complete the answer and then came back with his definition which was, "Management is just one darn thing after another." After having a good laugh, I thought about his remark and concluded that he had basically identified what makes life so challenging for those in leadership positions. The flow of "things to do" never seems to stop. Managing Monsters in Meetings - Part 3, Drifting From the Topic Although new ideas lead to creative solutions, they can be a challenge when they interrupt or distract the work on an issue. Top 25 Leadership Quotations Ponder what it takes to be a true leader with these practical quotes that will lead you to a more precise understanding of the secrets to successful leadership... 5 Leadership Power Principles! 95% of Workers Fail Because of This...But They Can Fix It Act on Some of the Facts Making any decision without having all of the information and facts beforehand can be very tough. I spoke with a young man recently and he told me that some of his professors had changed the rules on him in the administration of his classes. The syllabuses of a couple of his classes had been altered, which switched exam dates. He was also notified of these changes after the semester's grace period. The grace period in which he could get his tuition money back after dropping a course had passed. Because of the changes, he would have two to three exams on one day. Ten Qualities Of A Great Leader - Plus 1 Great Leaders are optimists first and foremost. Their tendency is to interact according to Henry Ford's observation, "whether you think you can or think you can't - you are right." Because the buck must stop somewhere and because the dynamic of authority dictates that all delegated authorities are themselves subject to authority, they understand that being a leader is far more than a title. The ten qualities listed herein are based on these assumptions and are just the beginning of developing the character of a great leader. Here's to a great beginning! Evil, Hostile Grumpy Listeners? Think Again I hated Kyle Sisk*. A notorious bully, Kyle punctuated my grade school years with misery. He would tease me about my weight, purposely rattle me with shocking language, delight in making me look foolish at every opportunity. Kyle had scary, penetrating eyes and sharp, jagged teeth that looked, appropriately, like fangs. He even had his own evil henchman named Eddie who would follow him everywhere, laughing a conspiratorial little laugh asking, "Heh, heh, what are we going to do next, Kyle? Heh, heh." (All Eddie was missing was a hump.) A typical encounter was the time I was walking home from school and Kyle and Eddie pounced from behind some bushes, grabbed my books and threw them in the mud. Even worse, they snatched my precious, brand new little purse and threw it into the branches of a tree, far out of reach. They then ran off cackling in triumph. I, purseless, limped home in tears. Are You A Leader in the Chrysalis? Let's get this straight at the outset? Being an Extraordinary Leader Through Tough and Challenging Times Tough and challenging times will surely come. That is a given. The question is what kind of leadership we will demonstrate during those time. Those who are weak leaders will see lasting damage done, if not see the organization fall apart completely. With Extraordinary Leaders at the helm, however, an organization can actually become stronger and thrive in spite of the tough and challenging times. That should be our goal so here are some idea on how to be an Extraordinary Leader in tough and challenging times! Building Teams and Teamwork A tight knit team is a group of competent individuals who care deeply about each other and are fiercely committed to their mission. They are highly motivated to combining their energy and expertise to achieve the common objective. From our observation and studies on building teams, we have found three primary conditions that have to be met in order to attain higher levels of team performance and member satisfaction. Resources and Commitment Ownership and Heart Learning These three conditions are the heart and soul of teamwork but are not blueprints. Every team is unique, and the requirements and details of its teamwork have to be worked out separately. Let's look closer at condition number two Ownership and Heart. Leadership Skills - 10 Ways to Beef Up 10 Ways to Beef Up Your Leadership Skills Ten Steps To Effective Leadership Many people end up in a supervisory position or SOHO ownership almost by default. In today's workplace, if someone stays on their job long enough, they will probably be promoted as others, more senior to them or higher up the chain of responsibility, leave for other opportunities. Hidden Self Confidence Peer independence is arguably the least understood aspect of self confidence. Many people who are shy, or suffer from social anxiety, tell me that they lack confidence. However, their shyness or social anxiety is only one aspect of a constellation of qualities which combine to determine our confidence profile. Understanding peer independence helps many people to appreciate and build on their personal strengths.
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