ALISTROL - Lower High Blood Pressure Today!


Aloeride® - Aloe Vera Capsules

How To Help A Stressed Or Depressed Loved One


Having lived with a depressed partner for 3 years and suffered anxiety and depression for 5 years, I've experienced both sides. In this article, I'll show you exactly what you can do - and, what you shouldn't do - to help your loved one.

1. Please, however frustrated you feel, please never say to a depressed or stressed person: "Come on, snap out of it. What have you got to be worried or sad about anyway. People have it much worse than you." Please understand that these illnesses cannot be "snapped out of." You wouldn't say this to someone with high blood pressure or pneumonia because you know it isn't that simple. Stress, depression and anxiety are real illnesses that have specific causes. Asking someone to snap out of it makes that person feel inadequate or that they're doing something wrong. Absolutely not so. Comparing their circumstances to people who are suffering greater hardship is no use either. I could not have given two hoots about other people when I was ill because their circumstances meant nothing to me. I was struggling to solve my own problems and could not see anything else. Knowing that others are starving, are terminally ill, or suffer in squalor did not matter a jot because they did not make my problems go away. One more thing about such statements: they confront the sufferer with their illness and they put pressure on them. This will cause sufferers to retreat further and further into their own world. Better is to offer love and support: "I'm always here if you need me or want to talk." And 3 little words can mean so much: "I love you." I did not hear them for 3 years and believe me, I missed them so very much.

2. As a loved one, it is totally natural to want to understand what is happening. Many loved ones conduct research into these illnesses to develop understanding. Nothing wrong with that whatsoever. However, a problem can arise if you start to impose your knowledge on the sufferer. This happens when you observe certain behaviors and habits performed by sufferers and comment on why they are behaving in such a way. For example, you hear a sufferer put themselves down, so you say "That's a part of your illness. I've been reading about it and self-deprecation is one of the reasons why people become depressed. You need to stop putting yourself down." Again, this is confrontational and puts the sufferer under pressure. All they'll do is dismiss your comments and clam up whenever you are around as they'll feel they're being scrutinised. A better way is to challenge them very gently by reminding them of a time when they did something good. For example, you hear a sufferer say: "I'm useless, I never get anything right." You can say "Sure you do, hey, remember the time when you...". Do you see the difference in approach? The first is more like a doctor assessing a patient, the second is just a normal, natural conversation and doesn't mention stress, depression or anxiety. This is very, very helpful as it shifts focus from a bad event: "I'm useless..." to a good one: "remember when.." without exerting pressure.

3. Finally, you may find a resource - a book, a video, a supplement etc. - that you think will help someone to beat their illness. Perfectly natural. But there's a problem. It confronts the sufferer with their illness and puts them under pressure to do something about it. The result of this will be resentment followed by retreat into their own world. Isolation is a part of these illnesses. Sometimes, you just can't bear to be around people. My ex-partner used to sleep in a dark room for an entire weekend because she just could not handle anyone being around her. "I bore people, I've nothing to say of interest and I don't want anyone asking me how I'm feeling. I just want to be on my own." I know, it cuts you to ribbons when you hear such words from someone you care deeply about. But please, you must resist the urge to DIRECTLY give them a resource you think will help them. For someone to emerge from these illnesses, they have to make the decision themselves. A direct offer will more often than not be refused. So, if you find something you think will help, leave it lying around somewhere your loved one will find it. The idea here is for them to CHOOSE by themselves to investigate further. Such an INDIRECT approach is more effective because once again, there is no pressure, no reminder, no confrontation. It is the sufferer who takes a willing first step towards recovery.

It is so hard to understand and reach loved ones when they're caught up in these illnesses but please believe me, these ideas are very effective and they will help.

See you next time.

Looking to beat stress, anxiety or depression QUICKLY? "Conquering Stress" reveals the powerful, effective secrets so you can beat these illnesses once and for all DRUG FREE! Click Here==>http://www.conqueringstress.com


MFIII-Antiaging-Clinic


Intiman Theatre dusts off Depression-era 'Paradise Lost' — which speaks ...
Seattle Times
Intiman Theatre revives Clifford Odets' Depression-era "Paradise Lost" — and it couldn't be more timely. By Misha Berson Elise Karolina Hunt as Libby and ...

and more »


Melbourne Storm

Slater sorry after depression sledge
BigPond News
... the team's shock win over the Bulldogs in round one, took a break from the NRL last season after announcing he was suffering from clinical depression. ...
Melbourne fullback Billy Slater allegedly taunts Newcastle forward Cory ...Herald Sun
Slater apologisesMelbourne Storm
Sorry Slater sledges PatersonSydney Morning Herald

all 24 news articles »


Manic Depression Linked With Shrinking Brain
Oneindia
Washington, July 20 (ANI): A new study has linked bipolar disorder or manic depression with accelerated shrinking of the brain. ...



Herald de Paris

GPs call for better treatment for depression sufferers
BBC News
Some 65% of doctors say they can "rarely" offer psychological therapy to depression sufferers within two months of referral, ...
GPs demand end to therapy delays for mentally ill childrenThe Guardian
GPs unable to get patients the psychological help they needInTheNews.co.uk

all 6 news articles »


Times Online

Barking mad? No, just a little dog depression
Times Online
Depression, the black dog, is now being diagnosed in black dogs — and brown, spotted, tawny and mottled ones as well. And doggy antidepressants are becoming ...



The Express Times - LehighValleyLive.com

Ashley Fox: For Eagles, Shawn Andrews wasn't worth the trouble
Philadelphia Inquirer
But in 2008, Andrews skipped training camp, and later announced he was suffering from clinical depression. He played in the first two games in 2008, ...
Eagles cut former Pro Bowl OL Shawn AndrewsUSA Today
Les Bowen: Eagles break ties with Shawn AndrewsPhiladelphia Daily News
Philadelphia Eagles release Shawn AndrewsESPN
msnbc.com -ProFootballTalk -Delaware County Daily Times
all 148 news articles »


Buzz 7

Angelina Jolie suffered from postpartum depression
Celebrities With Diseases
Angelina Jolie was said to be on the verge of postpartum depression after the birth of her twins, Vivienne Marcheline and Knox Leon, in September 2008. ...
How Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt survived postpartum depressionEntertainment and Showbiz!

all 52 news articles »


STORM UPDATE: 9:45 am - Tropical Depression 02w poses no threat to Guam
Pacific Daily News
9:45 am — A tropical depression to the south-southwest of Guam bears no threat to the island at this time, said National Weather Service Senior ...

and more »


Bleacher Report

Browns not interested in Shawn Andrews
Yahoo! Sports
Cut by the Philadelphia Eagles this week after struggles with depression and back issues, veteran offensive lineman Shawn Andrews won't be landing with the ...
Shawn Andrews: Browns not interested in Shawn AndrewsRotoworld.com
Andrews may be done in NFLBleacher Report
Browns not interested in Shawn AndrewsProFootballTalk
Dawgs By Nature (blog) -Blinq (blog) -Bleacher Report
all 8 news articles »


New York Times (blog)

Health Care Reform Legislation Passes, Now on To President Obama's Desk
American Consumer News (blog)
... historic legislation which was on par with the enactment of Social Security after the Great Depression and the implementation f Medicare in the 1960's. ...
Historic health care bill passesLos Angeles Times
Boehner Tells Democrats: Shame on YouCBS News
Historic US health-care bill passesCBC.ca
Franklin News Post -The Star-Ledger - NJ.com (blog) -Voxy
all 17,434 news articles »

Google News

Hibermate home | site map

© 2009 www.elearn-university.org