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Just Give Them a Lot of Love and You?ll be Fine
It was right about this time, 19 years ago. My wife and I were sitting in the very last Lamaze birthing class, soon to be brand new parents. I felt a wave of anxiety come over me. I had to ask the question. I raised my hand. The Nurse, her name was Dorinda, pointed at me and said, "Yes, you have a question." Did I have a question? I just knew EVERY Dad was wondering the same thing? "You have given us some great information, almost too much. I am afraid I am going to forget all this stuff?then what?" I could feel the other Dad's nodding. She smiled; she was very wise and patient. She had taught thousands of new Dads. "That's a great question," pausing for effect, she continued, "That little baby doesn't know you don't know. Just give him a lot of love, you will be fine." It turned out to be the best parenting advice I ever received. When I was a kid, maybe five years old, I have a distinct memory of my father holding my hand at Matthews Beach in Seattle. My head came up to his waist. He was a big man, 6'-4" and 240 pounds. In his day, he was an extraordinary athlete, All-State in three sports. He once scored 34 points in a Regional Final in Basketball. He started playing baseball at age 16, pitching, his Junior year in High School. He told me the following story one night in Seattle. We were sitting in the brand new Safeco Field watching the Seattle Mariners pound the Cleveland Indians. By the time he was a senior in high school; pro scouts were at every game. This was 1947 in Ravenna, Ohio. The Indians had the best pitching staff in baseball. One particular scout was enamored of my Dad. He signed a whopping $500 bonus to play for the Dayton Mud Hens, AA team. His second summer, my Dad got the call. He showed up with the scout to find the General Manager of the team, the owner, a catcher, and an empty Cleveland Stadium. He said to me with a serious tone, "Mark, I threw the best baseball of my young life. I was 19 years old and I was fast. I would guess it came in around 85 miles per hour. I was feeling good about myself. I was on. I gave it everything I had. I just knew they were impressed." After 20 minutes, the owner stood up and yelled out to me, "Okay, Bob, we are done warming up. Go ahead and show us what you got!" Up to this point while he was telling me this story, he looked straight ahead. To end the story, he turned his head, looked straight at me and said, "I knew right then I would never play in the Big Show." I was 42 years old when he told me that story. I heard a lot of stories growing up, but that was not one of them. This one was special. He was confiding in me. He trusted me. It was time to bare a little of his soul. My father was diagnosed with Alzheimer's recently. Everything is changing now. The more I learn about this insidious and horrible disease, the sadder I become. A part of this big man dies a little every day. The burden is carried by my mom. She is hauling a massive load. (for a special story on Alzheimer's, go to www.mattesonavenue.com and click on "What's New!!!" tab to read the story "When the Box is Empty") I cherish the moments I have with my dad now. I know for him, it's the 9th inning and the manager may be making that call to the bullpen any time now. Grief is a form of energy and must be dissipated somehow in healthy ways or it turns inward in the form of depression or self-destruction. Writing is how I process that grief. I have captured many memories of my father in my journal the past year. I cry tears of regret, pain, anguish, heartache, sadness, anger and sorrow. Occasionally, when I think of my dad in that empty stadium giving it all he had, I cry a tear of joy. I love my dad. Now my son Colin is grown. He will go off to college in the fall. 19 years later, that little baby got all the love I had. He is 6'-8", 210 pounds. He is on his way to The University of Alaska at Fairbanks in August to play basketball on a scholarship, a great athlete, a lot like his Grandpa. It's bittersweet. My father and son are leaving about the same time for different reasons. I think I am just going to give them each a lot love before they go. I will be just fine. Pinnacle Service Group For your FREE e-zine, go to http://www.mattesonavenue.com
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Alternative Medicine Feeling Lonely? Q: I hate Alzheimer's disease, not only has it robbed me of my husband, but it has taken my life too! I feel like all of my friends have disappeared. I am lonely, and that makes me feel guilty. Help! Alzheimers Care Giving While Maintaining Your Own Health Just for a moment I want you to imagine that you are coming out of a very deep sleep. If you have ever had surgery try to remember the way you felt as you were trying to make sense of things as you awoke. As you imagine or remember this sensation do you find yourself wondering if it is morning or night? Are you trying to remember where you are? Do you have a startle reaction and think for a moment that you are late for work or forgot to pick up your children at school? I have had that upsetting feeling if I wake up in the middle of the night or even after a nap. Now imagine that same fog every moment of your life....... If Using The Stairs Has Become A Daily Struggle, A Stair lift Could Change Your Life Using stairs is an everyday nightmare for many people. As we grow older the stairs in our home can become more of a struggle due to mobility problems associated with old age, an accident or illness. Often when out shopping or in a public place an alternative can be found such as a lift or escalator, but the stairs at home can become a daily challenge. Many people who experience difficulty climbing the stairs come to dread having to use them. For people whose bathroom or toilet is upstairs it can be even more of an issue. When Assistance with Long Term Care Becomes Necessary According to the Administration on Aging, it is estimated by 2030, the older population will more than double to approximately 71.5 million. It is also estimated that between 39 to 49 percent of people will use nursing home services during their lifetime. Unfortunately, there may come a time when your loved one may require assistance with long term care. The following is a list of warning signs one should be aware of when evaluating your loved one's situation. If the senior exhibits two or more of these signs, assistance is likely required: Paying For Elder Care Just Got Easier It's not a surprise that thousands of families across the nation are facing the challlenges of an aging population. The "sandwich" generation, those who are caring for their children as well as their parents, have been feeling the financial pinch of caring for loved ones. Paying the high cost of Elder Care can cost a family thousands of dollars a month. Too many families are unaware of how utilizing a loved one's life insurance policy can not only pay for Assisted Living and Nursing Home care, but can maintain the standards of living for the remaining spouse. Hinged Rail Stair Lifts If a door at the top or the bottom of the stairs may be blocked by the rail of the stairlift, there are a number of models designed to overcome this problem. Some manufacturers are able to produce a rail with reduced overhang upstairs, so the lift will not protrude as far into the hallway. This may solve the problem at the top of your stairs and is a very cost effective solution. Caring for Aging Relatives It happens somewhat slowly in the beginning, maybe with a small cough that gets worse as time goes on. It might simply begin with absent mindedness which is totally out of character, followed by total memory lapses. What do we do when our parents eventually need taking care of after they have spent so much of their adult lives taking care of us? What precisely is a child's responsibility to them? Is it self-centered to relocate them into an assisted home? And which siblings should shoulder the responsibility? These are questions which plague families whenever a parent happens to become sick. New Hope for Alzheimers Treatment There is now widespread agreement among research scientists and medical professionals that Alzheimer's Disease (AD) is a problem quickly growing to vast proportions. As the life expectancy of Americans continues to rise, increasing the percentage of the population over 65 years of age, so does the number of Alzheimer's cases. Stairlifts Take the Struggle Out of Climbing the Stairs Buying a stairlift can have huge benefits for your quality of life, giving you back some freedom and independence. Stairlifts can be adapted to your individual needs, so no matter what your requirements are, there'll be one to suit you. The stairlift company representative who visits your home can assess what type of design would be best for you. There are two main sorts. Straight stairlifts are suitable for staircases that don't have any bends. They glide in a straight line up and down the stairs. If your staircase has corners or curves, a curved stairlift will be necessary to negotiate the turns. Scaling Down (almost) Painlessly Moving to a smaller house or apartment in a retirement community almost always involves a certain degree of trauma, both for the elder who's moving and for family members. However, by planning ahead you can reduce the discomfort involved and turn what might well become a nightmare into a pleasant event. Senior Care for Alzheimer's As a person ages, a certain amount of memory loss and confusion is quite normal. Personally, I've been known to invoke the cliché, "The older I get, the better I was!" Unfortunately, Alzheimer's disease represents a more serious loss of mental sharpness and calls for special care for seniors. Prepare to Make Long-term Care Choices Several months ago, I was coming out of a gas station when a woman stopped me and asked me what I did for a living. On the back of our van is our web address. On the side wing windows is "Free Senior Home Placement." I explained to her that I am a Long Term Care Consultant. She breathed a sigh of relief. "Great I need you!" The Truth About Christmas Every year, as Christmas approaches, you hear Christmas carols everywhere. Sometimes to the point where another Silent Night would make you want to silent the sound system. Everyone is scrambling to buy Christmas gifts for everyone in a list that seems miles long. The queues to pay up and the queues for a parking lot seem endlessly long too. Christmas cards are sent out to friends and family, some of whom you might not have seen for years. Beautifully decorated christmas trees pop up every where. Buildings are dressed in lights, mistletoes, bells, and other Christmas decorations. Santa Claus, his elves and reindeer are seen every where. Kids get more and more excited as Christmas approach. Even grown ups prepare for the onslaught of Christmas partying during that time of the year. Party dresses are purchased. Everyone gets ready to dress to their nines. In all this excitement, do you know what you are celebrating? What is Christmas actually? It sometimes seems like a brillian invention of the toy makers to push sales of toys to all the parents around the world. A sales marketing ploy of the retail industry. Actually, Christmas is the celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ. Long ago, a little baby was born to a girl who was still a virgin. The baby was born in a manger, among the animals, yet angels proclaimed his birth. Wise men followed a star that marked his birth and presented him with precious gifts, to pay homage to him. It all seemed so beautifully sweet.. until you realise the reason why this child was born. This baby was born to die. To be crucified on the cross while still in his prime. Killed alongside murderers, on the insistence of the crowds, even though he had not committed a crime... days after being welcomed into Jerusalem by crowds of people waving palm leaves, shouting Hosanna, praising him. It was a gruesome death. He was whipped and then his body, all covered with blood, still a live, was nailed to a cross and left to die. Upon his death, the skies turned dark. There was an earthquake The curtain separating the holiest place in the temple in Jerusalem from the rest of the area was torn in two. 3 days later, his tomb was empty and the heavy stone was rolled away. His disciples and those close to him saw him. He spent time with them, ate with them, showing he was alive and not a ghost. Later, while talking to a crowd of people, he rose up in the sky disappeared into the clouds. All this happened for a reason. The first man and women, Adam and Eve disobeyed God. That was the first sin. From then on, every one of us sins. A tiny white lie, doing what we know we shouldn't do... The penalty for sin is death. The only one who did not sin is Jesus. Jesus is the Son of God. Mary was a virgin when she conceived Jesus. Jesus had to die on the cross to win forgiveness for anyone who chooses to accept his gift. The real Christmas gift. Sounds far fetched? That's why they are called miracles. Miracles are still happening today. All over the world. Check out Lighthouse which has miracle services every Saturday. You can read the pastor's latest sermon each week there too. A good resource that explains every detail of the Christmas story is http://www.answersingenesis.org/ Actually, that site explains the creation vs evolution theories, dinosaurs and a lot more. So the next time the pressures of Christmas preparations drive you up the wall and you wish you could kill the person who invented Christmas, don't worry. You already have. Review of the Changing Protein Requirements for Seniors Youth, it is said, is wasted on the young. Too busy figuring life they hardly take the time to enjoy it. Fortunately, with medical research and scientific progress, lifespans have doubled over the last century. We can now start life at fifty and have another go at youth. Health consciousness, appropriate diet and exercise, can make the later years of life a pleasant experience. Dietary principles play as especially important role in this regard. Compensating for the physiological changes of aging, they can give us better odds at achieving our genetically determined lifespans. The Best Investment You Can Make Right Now: Long Term Care Insurance Don't think you need it? Consider this: a full 50% of Americans over the age of 50 will need long term care at some point in their lives. The average cost of nursing facility care (or home health care assistance) is $61,000 per year, and the average stay in a long term care facility is 2½ years. Can you think of a faster way to decimate your nest egg? Second Hand Stair Lifts Buying second hand stair lifts is a viable and cost effective alternative to purchasing a brand new stair lift. Most stair lifts can be purchased new or second hand. Whos Gonna Take Care of You When Youre Old? I finally went to the doctor this morning for my bad cold. My appointment was for 9:30 am and yet I did not get home until after 1:00 pm. Local Businesses Serving Seniors Prove Commitment to Quality Care Good news! You no longer have to risk chance when it comes to selecting a reputable elder care service for yourself or for a loved one. Senior Approved Services has certified a select number of businesses in our area serving the elderly and disabled populations. Solitary Confinement -- for Life Sixty-five year old Arthur Jones served a self-imposed life sentence - in his own home. The Dryer Ate Your Underwear! Q: My mom is in the early stages of dementia and she is also incontinent we have tried to get her to stop wearing her underpants and have her start wearing pull-up diapers, she throws the Depends out the door and puts her underpants on. Of coarse we have a lot of laundry! How should I handle this?
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