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Neogtiation: How to be Right Without Making Other People Wrong
What exactly are we trying to accomplish by proving to others that we're right? We might win the argument but ultimately lose the relationship. Perhaps a better, deeper-rooted question is this: Why do we lose sight of success, of our big objective, when we feel challenged or intimidated? When I prepare to negotiate, provide a service or turn my employees' talent into performance, I know deep down that if I make people feel valuable they will see my input as having value. But in that moment when they are just hands-down, across-the-board dead wrong, I sometimes can't stop myself from letting them know how incredibly wrong they are. When that happens, my ability to influence them vaporizes on the spot, and I'm left dealing with the response I created by making them wrong. I think this is the most consistently counterproductive thing we do in business and, I suspect, in our personal lives too. It may be the foundation of communication breakdown. Maybe this behavior is so prevalent because it's part of human nature. Could we be natural born jerks? (Jerkdom nature or nurture?) If so, how do we overcome the urge to prove our point at the expense of our business or relationship? Wynn Solutions studied thousands of top communicators and saw a common behavior among them: the practice of not making people wrong. We decided to find out how they did it. We discovered that these top communicators lowered their expectations of other people's behavior before meeting with them face to face. It seemed to reduce the tendency to overreact in the heat of the moment. Also, they walked in the door with an agenda of not making the other person wrong and of looking for areas where the other person's knowledge was strong. So when that moment came when other people made their limited knowledge obvious top communicators were not so ready to pounce. This approach may sound a bit condescending to some, but it sure beats dealing with communication issues you create for yourself by having to prove you are the smartest person in the room. It allows you to be right without making others feel wrong. © Garrison Wynn,CSP 2005 Garrison Wynn is a nationally known speaker, trainer, and consultant. He is the president and founder of Wynn Solutions, specializing in building profitable business relationships. 888-833-2902
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a href="http://www.elearn-university.com/Careers/coaching/index.php" class="nav">Coaching Communicating Across Time Horizons There was a time in my life when I sold life insurance. Well, to be frank, I tried to sell life insurance. With little success. How to Change Somebody's Mind Believe me, it's not easy! And sometimes, it doesn't work at all. Just Ask! Ask and you shall receive & knock and it shall be opened &send an email and see what happens. Negotiations: The Art, Science, & Sport of Online Deals Negotiations can seem as complex as physics, and in fact, people go to college to study the science of negotiating just as they would the laws of nature. At the same time, negotiation is like an ancient art form, some sort of Zen mental jujitsu. When neither the Zen nor the science works, though, no one wins. Negotiating Skills: Ask For More Than You Expect To Get It creates some negotiating room, and you might just get what you are asking for. Negotiation: A Compromising Position Negotiating is a hot topic these days for a good reason. It is difficult to imagine a more vital managerial skill than the skill of negotiating. Effective managers must be superior negotiators. Without solid negotiating abilities, managers will inevitably make serious mistakes in dealing with people at all levels, both inside and outside their organizations. As negotiators, managers must concern themselves with substantive issues and their continuing relationships with people. If they push too much, they may create hard feelings and a desire to exact revenge. If they are overly concerned about getting along with others, they may lose in many substantive areas, thereby negatively impacting upon their department and their organization. While Youre Waiting Not long ago, I made a partnership pitch, on behalf of an organization I represent, to another organization with similar interests. If the idea had come to fruition, it would have radically changed our organization. Neogtiation: How to be Right Without Making Other People Wrong What exactly are we trying to accomplish by proving to others that we're right? We might win the argument but ultimately lose the relationship. Perhaps a better, deeper-rooted question is this: Why do we lose sight of success, of our big objective, when we feel challenged or intimidated? Barter: Its Not Just for Doctors Anymore Time was, in the country, the local "doc" was as likely to get paid with a couple of chickens as a couple of dollars. Doctors these days won't stand for that, of course, but while some people have moved completely away from barter and stayed there, others have embraced it wholeheartedly. Avoiding and Accomodating in Negotiation The avoiding approach to negotiating is characterized by losing, leaving, and withdrawing. No commitments are made, and behavior is impersonal. Use this approach when you would get hurt by staying or when you want to change the ground rules. It is useful when issues are trivial and is helpful when the other side has much greater power. Its disadvantage is that the problem is left unresolved, and this can result in nothing getting done if too many problems are swept under the rug. In the avoiding approach, at least one of the parties displays a subtle reluctance or unwillingness to resolve the issues. This approach is of little use for those working with organizations as it strains relationships and prevents the building of trust between the parties involved. Using this approach can also increase the other party's resistance to negotiation. The Six Rs for Changing MInds and Overcoming Resistance This article borrows from Howard Gardner's book, "Changing Minds" (2004). In order to get people in conflict to cooperate or collaborate sufficiently to settle or resolve their differences, and perhaps achieve reconciliation, it is necessary that they change their minds. The reason they are in dispute is because they are of two different minds about a particular thing, which is what they are fighting over. People do not change their minds easily. Some people are prepared to be burned at the stake, literally, rather than change their minds, or admit to a change of belief. People cling to the artifacts of their own minds with great stubbornness. This is called resistance. When a mediator seeks to bring parties together, she will encounter resistance. If there were no resistance, if changing minds was easy, there would be no need for mediators. The Ultimate Truth in Persuasion OK, so you want to improve your persuasion power right? What Are The Four Types Of Negotiating Outcomes? Negotiating outcomes are the types of results that can happen at the end of a negotiation. All negotiations end up with one out of four possible outcomes: one party wins and the other loses, both parties lose, they get stuck in a stalemate, or both end up winning. Obviously, the goal in a cooperative negotiation is for both parties to walk away with their needs being satisfied. Familiarize yourself with the four different negotiating outcomes and make it your goal to aim for a mutually-beneficial outcome. Power Pricing - Getting the Right Price for Your Products and Services There's an old joke about the New York City blackout. Power was out everywhere, and the electric company could not figure out what was wrong or how to fix it. Finally, they decided that the only one who could solve the problem was a long-retired worker who knew the system inside and out. He came out to the power plant, looked around, picked up a hammer and tapped one of the generators. Business: Keys To Negotiating Well Whether it's buying a car, asking for a pay rise, saying 'no' to a friend or renting an apartment - at some stage in our lives we all are going to need to know how to negotiate. Yet, so few of us know the basic skills before embarking on life changing purchases or decisions! These 8 keys will assist you negotiate well. How To Deal With A Complainer How To Deal With A Complainer How To Communicate Using Space What Is Proxemics? Negotiate Your Way to a Better Salary 1. Be persuasive: It's hard to force your boss to increase your compensation, and trying to do so can potentially damage your working relationship. On the other hand, it's much easier to persuade her or him that it might benefit the organisation to pay you more, and that doing so will likely improve the way you deal with each other going forward. Four Ways To Work Out Business Disputes Business owners have four options to resolve disputes with partners, vendors or customers. Each option is based on different assumptions, and entails a different cost. Therefore, it pays to understand them better. Cross Cultural Negotiations Cross cultural negotiation is one of many specialized areas within the wider field of cross cultural communications. By taking cross cultural negotiation training, negotiators and sales personnel give themselves an advantage over competitors.
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