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| Negotiation Information |
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How To Communicate Using Space
What Is Proxemics? The study of the communicative aspects of personal space and territory is called proxemics. Everyone is surrounded by an invisible zone of psychological comfort that follows us everywhere we travel. This protective bubble acts as a buffer zone against unwanted touching and attacks. Our comfort zone varies depending on who we are talking to and the situation that we are in. The amount of space that we use while interacting with others can play a significant factor in the type of interaction we have with that person. Why Is Proxemics Important For A Negotiation? Proxemics gives a lot of nonverbal information to the other person regarding the level of trust and intimacy that the person has for them. As cooperation is a key factor in Street Negotiation, you must be able to read their level of comfort with you by the amount of distance that they are comfortable dealing with you at. Your goal in a negotiation is to gain their cooperation and by knowing how personal space is internally regulated, you can foster better communication and cooperative behavior from your counterpart. Knowing the dynamics of personal space will also prevent you from unknowingly violating your counterpart's personal space and causing unnecessary tension. What Is Our Comfort Zone? In 1959, anthropologist Edward Hall discovered that humans are distinctly aware of our perception of space and territory and he conducted numerous studies and experiments in which he concluded that United States Americans had four distinct comfort distances, each with their own specific ranges of comfort, and that these distances were surprisingly universal to most Americans. He also noted that comfort zones varied drastically between cultures. The four distances of personal territory for U.S. Americans are: 0-18 inches. Intimate distance. Reserved for deep personal relationships. Vision is impaired at this level and the main senses used are smell and touch. This distance is used for sexual contact or comforting someone. 18 inches-4 feet. Personal distance. Reserved for personal conversation. This is distance is used for having personal conversations with friends, family, or associates. 4 feet-12 feet. Social distance. Reserved for formal interactions such as business meetings or interviews. 12 feet-line of sight. Public distance. Reserved for such things as public speaking and lectures. Note: These distances apply only to those interactions where the participants' orientation is face-to-face with each other and are aware of each other's presence. Violating Personal Space Is Threatening The territorial space that people claim as distinctly belonging to them is their personal space (4 feet). When someone who has not yet gained our trust enters our personal space, we tend to feel uncomfortable or even threatened because the intruder has trespassed onto our own space. This is much the same way as if a stranger walked into the backyard of your home without your permission. Entering someone's personal distance without first establishing some level of trust can cause conflict and defensiveness to occur. When a violation of space occurs, it causes the other person to become uncomfortable and instinctively they will move themselves away from the person to regain the correct level of personal territory. You'll want to pay attention to this behavior because it is a sure indication that you have intruded upon their comfort zone.Police officers are sometimes trained in the technique of deliberately invading the personal space of their suspect during an interview to make the suspect feel uncomfortable and intimidating him into giving up information. Proximity Separates The Strong From The Weak Our social use for space can tell us a lot about the status, confidence, and power of the people around us. Just look at your own work place and examine who has the biggest office and who commands the most space while walking around. The people who possess the most power and authority command a greater amount of personal space that they can call their own. They will often distance themselves from other people around them. In the workplace, the "important" top-dog might have their own corner office apart from the rest of the workers who might be scrunched together in cubicles. Confident people and people of higher status are comfortable going straight to the center of the attention while lower status or non-confident people tend to hover near the exits or the back of the room. University studies have shown that the students who sit front and center of the classroom received the highest grades in the class, while those who sat in the back and at the corner's of the room received the worst grades. The goal is to approach as close as you can to the other person without making them feel uncomfortable. This will facilitate better rapport between both parties. Are They Using Barriers? Any inanimate object that is placed between you and the person you are talking with is an indication of defensiveness. A table, desk, pillows, drinking glass etc. that is set between you and the other person is an unconscious equivalent of shielding our body from attack and provides us with a level of emotional comfort from something that we do not like. A person who creates barriers between themselves and the other person is usually expressing deception, defensiveness, or ulterior motives. Using Proxemics For Emotional Emphasis Proxemics can be used in combination with other behaviors to add emphasis to the message. For example, if a person is angry with you and they invade your intimate space, then the perceived threat of their anger is dramatically increased if compared with the same person being angry with you from across the room. If a couple are in love and they are maintaining eye contact with each other from across a room, then the impact of that eye contact is much less meaningful than if they were inches from each other. Where Should I Sit? Side-by-side fosters cooperation. If you are trying to facilitate cooperation, then the best place for you to sit is by their side (i.e. to their right or left). By sitting to their side, we enhance cooperative behavior from them by conveying that we are not competing against them. It also points both of you towards the direction of the problem that exists, such as a report on the table, or research material that needs organizing. Opposite sides fosters competition. Sitting directly across from someone, such as an employer sitting direct across from a prospective applicant with a table in between them, tends to foster a competing-type attitude. Sit at 90° for good conversation. The best seating position at a table for a cooperative exchange of information is at the corner of the table. One person takes one side of the corner and the other person takes the other side. The benefits of this position are that: (1) It allows for both parties to enter into each other's personal space, creating a stronger bond than if they remained distant from each other. (2) It breaks up the stuffy formalness of the situation by moving you closer to them. The corner of the table adds a bit of psychological security for both parties by having a bit of a barrier between them, but it is not as much of a barrier as if you sat opposite one another. Gender differences. A study done by Byrne and Fisher (1975) showed that American men generally chose to sit across from people who they considered their friends and American women chose to sit adjacent to the people that they considered to be their friends. Additionally, the study showed that men did not like strangers sitting across from them and women did not like having strangers sitting next to them. Key Points --Proxemics is the study of the communicative aspects of space. --Entering one's personal space can cause them to feel threatened. --Sitting side-by-side fosters cooperation. Sitting opposite one another fosters competition. Sitting 90° to each other fosters conversation. --Using inanimate objects as barriers is a sign of anxiety, defensiveness, or deception. --Approach as close as you can to the other person without making them feel uncomfortable. This will increase your rapport. About The Author Tristan Loo is an experienced negotiator and an expert in conflict resolution. He uses his law enforcement experience to train others in the prinicples of defusing conflict and reaching agreements. Visit his website at http://www.streetnegotiation.com
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a href="http://www.elearn-university.com/Careers/coaching/index.php" class="nav">Coaching A One Stop Financial Solution Amy Wright, 34, was extatic when her realtor showed her the three bedroom townhome overlooking the lushious golf course. It was exactly the home she was looking for. The interior was sunny and bright, with a newly remodeled kitchen, spacious bedrooms, and the perfect little study area to set up her new home office. It had a spectacular pool and a lovingly tended flower garden. Best of all-the seller had to move immediately, so the home was a steal and miraculously within her budget! Amy was already making moving preparations when suddenly, a devastating blow paralyzed her plans. Her credit application for a mortgage had been denied. She could not understand how this had happened-just a year ago, her credit had been almost perfect! The last year had been a little tight, and sure she had a few late payments here and there?but she had no idea it was so bad that now she could not even get the home of her dreams. Barter: Its Not Just for Doctors Anymore Time was, in the country, the local "doc" was as likely to get paid with a couple of chickens as a couple of dollars. Doctors these days won't stand for that, of course, but while some people have moved completely away from barter and stayed there, others have embraced it wholeheartedly. The Ultimate Truth in Persuasion OK, so you want to improve your persuasion power right? Power Pricing - Getting the Right Price for Your Products and Services There's an old joke about the New York City blackout. Power was out everywhere, and the electric company could not figure out what was wrong or how to fix it. Finally, they decided that the only one who could solve the problem was a long-retired worker who knew the system inside and out. He came out to the power plant, looked around, picked up a hammer and tapped one of the generators. Business: Keys To Negotiating Well Whether it's buying a car, asking for a pay rise, saying 'no' to a friend or renting an apartment - at some stage in our lives we all are going to need to know how to negotiate. Yet, so few of us know the basic skills before embarking on life changing purchases or decisions! These 8 keys will assist you negotiate well. Negotiation: A Compromising Position Negotiating is a hot topic these days for a good reason. It is difficult to imagine a more vital managerial skill than the skill of negotiating. Effective managers must be superior negotiators. Without solid negotiating abilities, managers will inevitably make serious mistakes in dealing with people at all levels, both inside and outside their organizations. As negotiators, managers must concern themselves with substantive issues and their continuing relationships with people. If they push too much, they may create hard feelings and a desire to exact revenge. If they are overly concerned about getting along with others, they may lose in many substantive areas, thereby negatively impacting upon their department and their organization. How To Make An Inflexible Bureaucrat See You As A Person Inflexible Bureaucrats Are Characterized by: Four Ways To Work Out Business Disputes Business owners have four options to resolve disputes with partners, vendors or customers. Each option is based on different assumptions, and entails a different cost. Therefore, it pays to understand them better. Can a Service Be a Commodity Well Enron dealt with this a little for instance an intangible such as the available bandwidth in fiber optic lines. So what is a commodity in a service business? Well, a commodity could be considered are capacity to wash cars for a mobile car wash business like the company I own, the additionally created capacity coming from increased efficiency in studying production rates. In a service business, increased efficiencies will allow more time to do more work and thus make more profits from additional work. Can a Corporate Executive Really Use The Beautiful Mind; To guide decision making? I would like to comment on the "A Beautiful Mind" movie and the book, which was actually much better. I just finished reading another book on the similar side of John Nashs' assertion of working together rather than competing against. That book was "Co-opetition." By Adam M. Brandenburger (Havard guy)and Barry J. Nalebuff (Yale Dude). Many have been aware of such theory for quite a while and practice such occasionally for the betterment of an industry or through the art of diplomacy, sometimes through misdirection and other times as an experiment (nothing more, nothing less) especially when it really does not matter and it is not really core to our direction and market domination strategy for any given region. I would have to differ from the movie version in that if you tried to run your business in the fashion that Jim Nash discussed in theory you might do well for a while, but would eventually get hammered in the market place, whether or not you actually were able to sleep with a brunette when you wanted the blond with the big bust (go see the movie, you will understand that comment). In theory it sounded wonderful in the movie yet would not take you very far in the cut throat world of business, even though the regulators always want to level the playing field, more often then not they are manipulated agents for the competition as indicated by Adam Smith, Carl Marx and Rodney Dangerfield in "Back to School." The fact is that even the referees of business, namely the regulating bodies who want to see the playing field leveled usually tip it in the favor of a politically powerful and well connected companies which fund the campaigns of the over see'ers (politicians). Once the regulatory bodies find they have been duped rather than bring it up with the politicians, they want to punish all the players in the industry and kick them out of the game, of course this hurts the fans (consumers) and then the game (industry) and then the referees and fans are not needed (read; "When Atlas Shrugged" By Ayn Rand). National and Cultural Negotiation Style Cultural and national negotiation styles reflect communication behaviors and the priorities of that culture. Priorities such as trust, teamwork, non-confrontational situations, and openness are all along a sliding scale with each culture. The communication behaviors of each culture reflect these priorities and can dictate how a culture will engage in negotiations. Often, Japanese and other Asian negotiators will plan a social event and dinner before any real negotiations occur. Likewise, Americans place an emphasis on taking clients out to dinner and a round of golf. Engaging in this type of activity builds trust and opens the line of communication between the two parties. Using persuasive techniques to "connect" with another person can lead to trust and the sense of a relationship being built. The negotiation styles of these two cultures mesh well, thus allowing them to understand the priorities of each other's culture. Negotiate to Your Advantage The hardest and most important part of any negotiation is knowing when to walk away. Just Ask! Ask and you shall receive & knock and it shall be opened &send an email and see what happens. Secrets of the Trade Revealed: Bartering for Business In its simplest form, bartering involves an equal trade. One business swaps a good or service for another. A lawyer, for example, may swap a few hours of legal assistance for a stay at an out-of-town hotel. Suppliers as Your Partners in Cost Reduction This article is one of the many articles still to come in which I will discuss very basic yet proven techniques that you could use immediately in your encounters with your suppliers. How to Change Somebody's Mind Believe me, it's not easy! And sometimes, it doesn't work at all. Negotiate Your Way to a Better Salary 1. Be persuasive: It's hard to force your boss to increase your compensation, and trying to do so can potentially damage your working relationship. On the other hand, it's much easier to persuade her or him that it might benefit the organisation to pay you more, and that doing so will likely improve the way you deal with each other going forward. 7 Tips for Bartering Products and Services What better way to gain a new customer than by getting something you need in return? The following are tips to help you use bartering correctly, and make it a good experience for both you and who you are bartering with. Ask for More - You May Get More If you are involved with sales, how do you feel when you hear phrases such as, "Can you do anything about your price?" or, "You'll have to do better than that." and variations on these? Does a cloud or two cross the sun? You start to think, "here we go again.." yet, have you prepared for this situation? Neogtiation: How to be Right Without Making Other People Wrong What exactly are we trying to accomplish by proving to others that we're right? We might win the argument but ultimately lose the relationship. Perhaps a better, deeper-rooted question is this: Why do we lose sight of success, of our big objective, when we feel challenged or intimidated?
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Comment by Robert Holleyman