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Negotiating Skills Will Get You Ahead
Negotiating skills can help you manage lots of different kinds of life situations, both at work and in your personal relationships. Here are a few examples of where these skills can help you build an even better life for yourself: 1. Many family situations require negotiating with others. Deciding which movie to see, planning how to spend money, choosing a vacation spot, and many other decisions work best when you have these skills. 2. Being a good negotiator enables you to get what you want more often without resorting to becoming aggressive or pushy. Negotiating with others is more effective than simply demanding what you want or just caving in. 3. You will be more successful in the workplace if you know how to negotiate. These skills enable you to stand up for yourself and get what you want more often without harming relationships with bosses and coworkers. 4. Negotiation skills increase your personal effectiveness in any group situation, such as volunteer groups, the PTO, and church or synagogue groups. 5. Knowing how to negotiate lessens the chances that others will take advantage of you. 6. Negotiating a fair solution makes you feel good about yourself and increases others' respect for you. What Successful Negotiators Do What exactly is negotiation? It is a set of skills that anyone can learn. When researchers have observed the behavior of negotiators, they learned that the most successful negotiators do the following things: 1. They plan ahead. Successful negotiations are rarely spontaneous. Taking the time to analyze the situation and think through your strategy is perhaps the most important element of negotiating success. This is true whether you are negotiating an important contract for your employer or negotiating your vacation plans with your family. Example: Anthony wants to begin running again to get into better physical shape. He became a new father 18 months ago and has had no time to exercise. He anticipates that Belinda, his wife, will resist any discussion of his wanting to take time for himself, since the responsibilities of parenthood are so time-consuming. For a while, he avoids the subject, fearing that it will turn into an argument. Then he starts to feel angry and resentful. He decides to negotiate with Belinda and begins by making a list of his needs and wants, as well as her needs and wants. 2. They are willing to consider a wide range of outcomes and options rather than rigidly insisting on a specific result. Negotiators who are most successful are open-minded and avoid being locked in to one outcome. They are willing to consider many possibilities and combinations of options. Example: Lisa is feeling very stressed by the long commute to her job. She was thinking of resigning until she decided to make a list of other options. She came up with several alternatives: working from home two days a week, working part-time rather than full-time, working flexible hours to avoid rush hour traffic, and working from home every fourth week. 3. They look for common ground rather than areas of conflict. Pointing out areas where you and the other person are already in agreement conveys an attitude of cooperation and lessens any feeling of opposition. Example: Sandy wants her next car to be a Volvo because of their reputation for safety. George wants a sports car. She says, "Let's talk about what we agree on. First, we both agree that the car has to have a strong safety record. Second, we want to buy a new car, not a used one like last time. And third, we've set our price range as $40,000 or less." 4. They discuss the key issues in order of priority. Have a clear idea of what the two or three key issues are and which is the most important. Start with the most important issues and proceed to those that matter less. If you can reach agreement on the most important things, the lesser issues will most likely be easier to resolve. Example: Carol wants her next family vacation to be something really special-either a Caribbean cruise or a trip to San Francisco. She and her family have visited relatives or stayed at home for the past few years. She wants the family to have an experience they will always remember before Todd, their adolescent son, grow ups and moves away. She sees the key issues as follows: (1) There are only three years left before Todd leaves. He is not likely to join us for a vacation after he finishes school; (2) It is important to have an exceptional vacation at least once in your life; (3) If we plan ahead and save the money, we will be able to afford the cost of such a trip. 5. Skillful negotiators avoid behavior that the other person is likely to consider annoying. This includes any of the following kinds of behavior: having an aggressive or intimidating manner, using sarcasm, using negative body language, or talking loudly. Not only do skilled negotiators avoid such behavior, they work hard at conveying an attitude of cooperation, reasonableness, openness, and friendliness. Example: Jed is negotiating the details of his new job with his new employer in the Chicago area. When Jed moves from Memphis to Chicago to begin work, he wants Sarah, his new boss, to give him three paid days off to get settled in his new apartment. Sarah is resisting the idea. Jed says, "I thought you would be more understanding about what it takes to get settled. A reasonable person would see that this is a small request." This sarcastic remark is likely to create some doubts in Sarah's mind rather than convince her to give Jed what he wants. 6. Good negotiators avoid participating in a defend/attack spiral. You know what this sounds like: A attacks B B defends herself and attacks A A defends herself and attacks B B defends herself and attacks A We've all experienced being caught in one of these spirals and know how nonproductive they are. Rather than perpetuating such a process, the successful negotiator puts a stop to it by choosing not to say anything that would be perceived as aggressive or defensive. Example A Jim: "I can't believe you are being so rigid." Anne: "Rigid! You should talk! You are completely bull-headed." Jim: "Right! You should try listening to yourself. You are impossible." Example B Jim: "I can't believe you are being so rigid." Anne: "You're not happy with what I've asked for." Jim: "You're damn right! You have to consider what I want." Anne: "Tell me more about it, then. I'll be happy to listen." In example A, Jim and Anne dig themselves in deeper with each statement. In example B, Anne blocks the defend/attack spiral and makes it possible for communication to resume. With practice, you can learn to use these simple skills to get more of what you want in life-without coming across like a bully. In fact, these skills help you reach agreements that are more likely to satisfy both parties while maintaining a positive relationship. Try them in your work life or at home-they work equally well in either setting. Garrett Coan is a professional therapist,coach and psychotherapist. His two Northern New Jersey office locations are accessible to individuals who reside in Bergen County, Essex County, Passaic County, Rockland County, and Manhattan. He offers online and telephone coaching and counseling services for those who live at a distance. He can be accessed through http://www.creativecounselors.com or 201-303-4303.
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a href="http://www.elearn-university.com/Careers/coaching/index.php" class="nav">Coaching Can a Service Be a Commodity Well Enron dealt with this a little for instance an intangible such as the available bandwidth in fiber optic lines. So what is a commodity in a service business? Well, a commodity could be considered are capacity to wash cars for a mobile car wash business like the company I own, the additionally created capacity coming from increased efficiency in studying production rates. In a service business, increased efficiencies will allow more time to do more work and thus make more profits from additional work. Avoiding and Accomodating in Negotiation The avoiding approach to negotiating is characterized by losing, leaving, and withdrawing. No commitments are made, and behavior is impersonal. Use this approach when you would get hurt by staying or when you want to change the ground rules. It is useful when issues are trivial and is helpful when the other side has much greater power. Its disadvantage is that the problem is left unresolved, and this can result in nothing getting done if too many problems are swept under the rug. In the avoiding approach, at least one of the parties displays a subtle reluctance or unwillingness to resolve the issues. This approach is of little use for those working with organizations as it strains relationships and prevents the building of trust between the parties involved. Using this approach can also increase the other party's resistance to negotiation. Making the Deal: Women as Negotiators Negotiating is no game. It is not for the weak or the fragile. It takes assertiveness and someone who feels comfortable in the mano-a-mano world of business. Can women negotiate the deal as well as their male counterparts? Absolutely! In some cases, they may even do a better job. Women have a definite edge at the negotiating table because of their instincts and natural power of persuasion. The Most Powerful Persuasion Skill Youll Ever Learn Criteria Elicitation Resolve Conflict In 6 Easy Steps - The BEDROL Method The principles of Negotiation can work for you in any situation, but often people ask me, "Well, its often a fact that conflict happens unexpectedly. What if I don't have time to prepare? Can negotiation skills be used on the spur of the moment?" The answer is YES. The principles of Street Negotiation were created and battle-tested on the streets and it's power lies in its ability to be used to resolve any conflict anytime. Conflict can be resolved in six easy to learn steps, acronymed as BEDROL(TM). That is: Back-up plan, Emotional control, Defusing their anger, Reframing, Options, and Letting them choose their fate. Negotiations: The Art, Science, & Sport of Online Deals Negotiations can seem as complex as physics, and in fact, people go to college to study the science of negotiating just as they would the laws of nature. At the same time, negotiation is like an ancient art form, some sort of Zen mental jujitsu. When neither the Zen nor the science works, though, no one wins. 7 Tips for Bartering Products and Services What better way to gain a new customer than by getting something you need in return? The following are tips to help you use bartering correctly, and make it a good experience for both you and who you are bartering with. 30 Tips for Keeping Meeting Expenses to a Minimum Money makes the world go 'round. And when it comes to meeting planning, money can probably get you whatever you want. However, few event planners have the luxury of an unlimited budget. Your boss may like to drink champagne on a beer budget. In other words, caution you to spend less, but expect miracles at the same time. Negotiation: A Compromising Position Negotiating is a hot topic these days for a good reason. It is difficult to imagine a more vital managerial skill than the skill of negotiating. Effective managers must be superior negotiators. Without solid negotiating abilities, managers will inevitably make serious mistakes in dealing with people at all levels, both inside and outside their organizations. As negotiators, managers must concern themselves with substantive issues and their continuing relationships with people. If they push too much, they may create hard feelings and a desire to exact revenge. If they are overly concerned about getting along with others, they may lose in many substantive areas, thereby negatively impacting upon their department and their organization. Dont Be Afraid Of Silence In any conversation with two or more people, there is a tendency to want to talk all the time to fill any awkward silences or gaps that appear in a conversation. Writing an RFP (Request for Proposal) Proposal?! I panicked as I tried to confirm with him what he meant by that since I had never done one before, at least not as a freelancer. Neogtiation: How to be Right Without Making Other People Wrong What exactly are we trying to accomplish by proving to others that we're right? We might win the argument but ultimately lose the relationship. Perhaps a better, deeper-rooted question is this: Why do we lose sight of success, of our big objective, when we feel challenged or intimidated? Negotiate to Your Advantage The hardest and most important part of any negotiation is knowing when to walk away. Negotiating Skills: Ask For More Than You Expect To Get It creates some negotiating room, and you might just get what you are asking for. Do You Want a Paycheck or a Passion? 10 Qualities Managers are Looking for in Hiring You Based upon my research of over 300 managers in the last two years, I have found what qualities are most important to hiring managers. Win-Win Power Negotiating Let's talk about win-win negotiating. Instead of trying to dominate the other person and trick him into doing things he wouldn't normally do, I believe that you should work with the other person to work out your problems and develop a solution with which both of you can win. Embarrassed To Discuss Your Prices? Seven Common Reasons We Cant Talk About Them Last week, a wonderfully-skilled electrician installed a new light fixture for us. He was competent, courteous and efficient. He answered all our questions simply, with skill and eloquence. I was amazed, as you might imagine, when I asked him, "How much do we owe you?" and his embarrassed reply was, "Gee, is $50 okay?" How Barter Can Help Your Business Online or Offline How Barter Can Help Your Business A One Stop Financial Solution Amy Wright, 34, was extatic when her realtor showed her the three bedroom townhome overlooking the lushious golf course. It was exactly the home she was looking for. The interior was sunny and bright, with a newly remodeled kitchen, spacious bedrooms, and the perfect little study area to set up her new home office. It had a spectacular pool and a lovingly tended flower garden. Best of all-the seller had to move immediately, so the home was a steal and miraculously within her budget! Amy was already making moving preparations when suddenly, a devastating blow paralyzed her plans. Her credit application for a mortgage had been denied. She could not understand how this had happened-just a year ago, her credit had been almost perfect! The last year had been a little tight, and sure she had a few late payments here and there?but she had no idea it was so bad that now she could not even get the home of her dreams. Business: Keys To Negotiating Well Whether it's buying a car, asking for a pay rise, saying 'no' to a friend or renting an apartment - at some stage in our lives we all are going to need to know how to negotiate. Yet, so few of us know the basic skills before embarking on life changing purchases or decisions! These 8 keys will assist you negotiate well.
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